What the frick...

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Historical fact....

As previously mentioned,  I am planning to dump my boyfriend.  We'll call him.... Bilbo.  Now in order to understand this,  you need a little history lesson about me. It is a frequent joke among my friends that I have a type. Really hot, and REALLY stupid.  You probably think I'm exaggerating, so I will elaborate.  For example, a couple of exes ago,  I took a guy to dinner at a japanese steakhouse with my parents (seems innocent enough).  He was being kind of shy until the middle of dinner.  Now I know that what he meant to say was that he could eat a lot of rice....what he actually said was "this rice goes right through me."  My parents are nice people, so they tried to be nonchalant while I laughed my ass off at him.  Now this comment alone seems like an innocent mistake that any smart person could make... but the story doesn't end there. A couple of minutes later we were eating the vegetable stir fry and he picked up a piece of zucchini and said "is this apple?" I wish I was kidding.  Another semi-funny example of my type, is the one who told me he was going to shave off his "social patch", not soul patch.....social patch. Now this leads us to the current boyfriend.  Bilbo and I were at his parents house hanging out and I told him he should take the gay test on thespark.com.  I was in the living room talking to his mom when he yelled from the computer room, "Hey, what's an eeerogenous zone?" It was the most uncomfortable 5 seconds of my life.  She didn't think it was funny at all, she just looked horrified. Anywho,  he is a generally nice guy and he likes me but frankly....Bilbo isn't going to cut it.  He wants to move back to his teenie hometown, work construction, make babies, ect. And while that idea is exciting to some people, it makes me want to kill myself.  So, I'm getting out...........

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